I miss you...I can't stop crying because I miss you so much. Holidays are tough, tears are fresh, you broke my heart by leaving. I love you so very much, I can't wait for my feet to touch Louisiana soil. Louisiana will always be where my mom IS. ;) I found this poem and it helps:

Loss of Mother Poem

Now that I am gone,
remember me with smiles and laughter.
And if you need to cry,
cry with your brother or sister
who walks in grief beside you.
And when you need me,
put your arms around anyone
and give to them what you need to give to me.
There are so many who need so much.
I want to leave you something --
something much better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known
or helped in some special way.
Let me live in your heart
as well as in your mind.
You can love me most
by letting your love reach out to our loved ones,
by embracing them and living in their love.
Love does not die, people do.
So, when all that's left of me is love,
give me away as best you can.

~ Author unknown

POPCORN

The husband cheats and melts extra butter to pour on top, and you have hot buttered cinnamon popcorn. I didn't realize how many people take their popcorn so seriously. ; ) Me included!

TW

I Love...

...Beautiful Sunday mornings.
...Watching movies that my honey goes to rent for me.
...Take care of yourself days a.k.a. wellness day.
...Hot showers.
...Ice cold water or juice.
...His soft hands on my back.
...The smell of hot buttered, cinnamon popcorn.
...My son's very short haircut, cutie.
...My daughters funny notes left around the house for us.
...Having the house to myself.
...Early morning soccer games with the cold wind blowing.
...Starbucks coffee brought to early soccer game by husband.
...Naps on a weekend afternoon.

~TW

Some Good Things...

I made an "A" on my oral presentation in speech class. yay! Apparently, even though I was a nervous wreck, they liked my energy, I'll take that.

I washed my hair yesterday...what you don't care?? It's a big thing for someone who's battling the blues. heehee I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Also, I started another blog to help me deal with some stuff, so don't be confused and think I started a new one...I just have two of them now. If you want, you can be directed there by clicking my profile. Later, jelly beans.

TW

Dear Blog & Blogger Friends,

I'm having a mini-breakdown. I've fallen into this black hole, it's really nothing major. I've come to accept the depression for what it is, but sometimes it takes a good bite out of my ass, and I just can't get moving. I don't remember the last time I hit the shower in the past few days, it has all been a blur.

It's usually due to a combination of things, a fight with my teenager, school stress, and that damn football! I just can't listen to it without crying about missing my birth mother, just typing that sentence made me cry--SEE?? It's going to be a tough first year without her. We didn't have one of those hallmark mother/daughter relationships, but that's not what I miss, nor would I change anything about us. I just miss an "ordinary conversation" with her. A conversation where she does most of the talking, and I'm left thinking, why did I even bother to call...but you're just happy you did. That's what I miss.

Also, my "machine gun" mouth is getting in the way of parenting, and I'm just not very proud of myself at the moment. But it's one of those things where you pray and hope that the child will grow up and find a damn good therapist. ; ) I know, I'm starting to come out of it, because beFrank and Jennifer's comment made me smile. It's the little things in life, right? Baby steps...that's what I'm taking right now, and I'm sure things will come around, they always do.

I miss you, jelly beans!

TW

Note to TW's True Love...You're an amazing man, and I am very lucky to have you.

She Is...

~Kind

~Thoughtful

~Intelligent

~Funny

~Beautiful

~Spiritual

~Wonderful

~Loving

~Trustworthy

~Graceful

She's my sister and a true lady...Happy Birthday, I love you!

Sis/TW

I Just Don't Remember...

I hate it when I hide things, so that my 10 year old doesn't touch it...AND THEN I can't remember the specific hiding place. Oh where--is that printer paper?!? Note to self, calm down and breathe and never hide anything again; adult homework is stressful enough. The End.

~TW