Dear Mom,

Lately, I've come to miss you like something awful. I am very careful not to put you up on a pedestal, just because you've gone to heaven. Those closest to us knew that our mother/daughter relationship was so stormy at times, that it could rival Hurricane Katrina! Some of our conversations so heated, it left nothing but destruction in our paths and caused havoc on the emotional front. And like so many did during that awful hurricane, all we could do is wait it out.

Yet, I can't ignore the soft side I had and still have for you. It's come alive through your grand daughter. She recently returned from spending a week in Louisiana. She spent the night at your house, ate dad's wonderful banana pancakes and fell in love with her aunts all over again.

While she was there, dad let her go through some of your jewels--you know the beloved *suitcase*. And she picked some lovely things, but what strikes me most is how tender she is with your jewelry. Fussing at me if I wear it while I'm eating messy seafood, like boiled shrimp or crawfish. The other day, I forgot to take this lovely ring off before swimming, and she almost took my head off. You see, in her young mind that ring symbolizes, YOU, her genie in a bottle that made all her wishes come through. Did you read that in the note she slipped inside your coffin? I know, isn't she amazing.

Also, being that one daughter that couldn't exactly appreciate the bread machine that you gave me for Christmas, and damn my little sister for telling you that I traded it in for a VCR. heehee In that same way, I couldn't really appreciate your love for gold, white gold or a good piece of jade when you were alive, you always sensed this too! But guess what? I do now Mom. I realized that you loved it, like I love beautiful stationary or pretty boxes or a nice blog design and I just smile. It makes me miss you though, because I don't look at jewelry the same anymore.

I long to hear your voice, see your smile, hear you say "I love you" on the phone, what I would give to hear you call me "baby" or "devil" again...I loved you voice when you were being your authentic self, even if it was rare. And I know you're smiling from heaven, because I love the necklace that dad picked out for me and sent home with Little Willow. It's beautiful Mom, and I promise to wear it someday in honor of you.

Do they have jewelry stores in heaven??

Infinite X's & O's

~TW